Close me
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Blog / Mending a Broken Heart

Mending a Broken Heart

INTRODUCTION

The growing and increasing numbers of broken relationships/Marriages and frustrations in families are becoming alarming especially in around the world. There is a staggering statistic over 70 percent single parenting in the USA alone. Well, 50 percent of this resulting from one form of disappointment or another.  Something must be done most urgently, else the generations yet unborn will not forgive us.

Jesus, the Prince of Peace will also not forgive us. The unborn generations will inherit an endemic situation that will result in the abuse of the sanctity and institution of marriage.

Brokenness of heart or grief, not only occurs in relationships but in the loss of a love one. The central issue heartbroken is a “loss” of something. It could occur in the loss of a valuable substance in one’s life. Brokenness can occur as a result of loss of job or employment. Another factor may be delay or loss in actualizing life ambition, genuine mistake and distrust. Rebuke and or abuse, sickness etc.  World leaders are having broken heart because of the current world economic crisis, natural disasters and political unrest in many regions of the world?

Heartbroken, the key subject in this discussion is the world most leading factor into withdrawal, depression, isolation, hatred, suicidal and Psycho disorderly related problems. In Africa, the disjointed and disorientated life style resulting in our Cultural and, physical, moral and spiritual devaluations are key reasons for the current frustrations and causes of broken hearts in my families.

In this edition I am not particularly interested in digging deeper into causes of a broken heart because if you have not experienced it,  you will sooner or later because bad stuff happen to everyone. It is not a question of ‘’WHY ME?

DO A SELF EXAMINATION OF YOURSELF 

Lesley GERNER wrote in his book; Life lessons, that”… It's the people who want to understand how they contributed to their own loss or downfall who stand to gain something invaluable, and who have the greatest chance of moving on’’.

You can go wrong in work, in friendships, in money, in love, in family relationships – and you inevitably will, sooner or later. What you want, short of restoring the status quo, which you probably can't, is to work your way to the point where you can say: "That job loss/bankruptcy/illness/break-up was one of the best things that ever happened to me because

Really nobody wants to go through this experience but millions had trodden this path and many more millions will tread it after you, So is right time now to start the recovery journey. Who says is simple. But I can assure you. You will recover sooner than you expected.

Let us talk about frustrations in a relationship; are you and your mate experiencing strain in your relationship or you are just managing your partner, job or family? May be you not getting along as you should or used to? Are you contemplating breaking up or resigning your faith to fate and frustration because the center no longer holds? Or you are so hurt about your current environment and everything going on around which just doesn’t make sense or meaning anymore and your heart trodden? Wait a moment. I have got good news for you.

Let us get real here, what you are experiencing is not far from a broken heart and something fast must be done else your brain begins to get stressed up and fatigue sets in, the next thing is frustration, withdrawal, lack of trust and general body weakness, Sadness and broken heart.

A broken heart can be fixed with a beat of hard work and commitment to a step by step approach approved by the Bible. The Bible; because, it is the manual to human existence, God is the creator of human heart, therefore if anything affects or heart and Spirit we must wise up to take it to its original creator for diagnose and fixing. Psychologists have proffered many options but most do not work because they are far from the owner’s manual – the Holy Bible.

Using this method can be fun and leading to a stronger relationship. In this article we shall be discussing some proven techniques in fixing a broken heart and Spirit.

Therese J. Borchard  in her article 10 tips to mending a broken heart quoted Bess Myerson  as saying ” to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” Especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last.

Mending a broken heart is never easy. Let me tell you, there is no fix quick method. In fact to stop loving is not an option. To curl in or wrap oneself up in self pity and disillusionment or bath oneself in tears are added insults on injury. The pain that comes from your deep love if reconcile makes loving ever (more) fruitful. Remember the saying no pain no gain.

So it is just natural to be heartbroken but it is more natural to gain life lesson from letting go your hurts.
 But how do we get beyond the pains? That is the essence of this project. From my experience, research and findings below are tips you may want to consider with me:

GO BACK TO THE MANUAL

First solution I think is to go back to our basis which is our God, the creator of every good thing in life. We should go back to the life manual to check if we are really in line with life instructions. The Bible is the voice of God. There contain strategies for living a successful and fulfilling like. It contains life tested experiences to help motive and elevate a broken heart. God already provides the blue print to a successful relationship and life. He therefore, holds the key to mending crack walls in relationships and broken hearts. The Psalmist says’…for a Broken heart and Contrite Spirit would I – God, not ignored.”


STAND AND FEEL THE CRACK

I know that this is the most dangerous and chaotic point in transforming a broken Spirit into a joyful and fulfilling experience. You have got to face your trouble to be able to trouble your trouble. The times of wailing and curling under pillow soak in rears are over. That is no longer permitted at this point. It is a point of getting out of your Boat of sadness and frustration; It is a point facing the reality. This is not the time to go around fixing it but go through it because if you try going around it you are likely to get back to where you start because what goes round comes round. Find your strength. You have overcome many obstacles in life why not now? I won my financial battle recently when I asked myself the question “How did I meet the last financial need? Remember failure is never final.


GET OFF THE BOAT AND START WALKING BY FAITH. SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS

Listen, I said it before that there is no quick fix method but that every negative situation carries with itself an amount of breakthrough and prosperity. In the same vein, every situation carries with it a solution. What most people lack is power and strength to carry on?  Let me give you a hint. When you go to an expert or a Clinical Psychologist the problem you complain about will tell what counsel to give. Then why not resolve to find the solution yourself and within yourself. Most times the situation isn’t as bad. We simply need to step out.  Parachine, wrote about a man who went to another wise man to seek counsel on how to get out of a problem. Their conversation went like this:

“Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied: “Who tied you up?” This old gardener answered: “Nobody tied me up.” The Great Monk said: “Then why do you seek liberation?”

One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness is this: I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy. When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it… creatively by faith, and with the help of the almighty God.

LAUGH AND CRY

Laughter heals so does a little sigh of relief, taking a deep breath occasionally and always reduces the heaviness on the heart and mind so does crying. Cry unto your God in prayers. You think it’s just a coincidence that you always feel better after a good cry? No, there are many physiological reasons that contribute to the healing power of tears. Moderate weeping-with a good cry removes deep touching frustrations, doubts and broken heart. Especially when sharing the details with a trusted friends. It relieves emotional stress. So go grab a towel and or tissue to wipe some tears. Remember excess of cry and laughter may lead to another trouble so, control yourself.

FORGIVE

Who? There are four positions to forgive: The situation, the one who caused the broken heart,  yourself and God. Believe there is still hope. So find hope in forgiving. Love again. It is when you love again that your heart can expand to love and be happy. Avoid falling into the same pit. But do not say because you have had a nasty experience you will detach yourself or not love or trust again. Avoid sitting in one place alone. Move on. Let go of the past. Forgive to be free. To forgive does not mean to deny yourself of anger and sweep it under the capet. You must deal with the anger first. Confess your hurt, express it creatively and get it out of your system.

SING AND EXERCISE YOUR BODY AND SOCIALIZE A BEAT   

The universally acceptable medicine for depression and heartbroken is exercise. Walk out and go out on a date but avoid drinking alcohol or smoking. Remember you are trying to relief some congestion in the heart avoid loading your heart with dirtiness like smoke and alcohol.

CONCLUSION

Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Ask a friend or physician to recommend one who is experienced in treating depression. Remember even after you have dealt with the situation there will still be moments of sadness grief and depression. Bur never allow it get you down again. Avoid a rebound. Distance yourself from what cause your broken heart.

By: Emmanuel Olusegun Olayemi

Get your free e-book today

Adevertise With us